Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Monday, November 28, 2011

New Wacko/Soap Plant store online

This is a webstore I helped design which happens to sell limited edition prints of The Picture of Everything! Check it out!

Sunday, November 27, 2011


All the great rock and roll bands have had songs about love, time, and dancing... except the great punk bands. Punk bands sing about sex, politics, and/or fighting.

Saturday, November 26, 2011


God wanted to make up a joke that would always make Him laugh, so He created the fart.

His Wife was disgusted by this, having to change the diapers for all of His creations and not finding such things humorous at all.

"Why did you invent the foul smelling wind from the buttox of Your creations? And why did You have it make such a horrible sound?" She would ask Him.

God shrugged and said "Cuz' I'm God, that's why."

Later that night, God's wife woke up after Her Husband was asleep and ate chili beans, brisket and cooked cauliflower. She then got back into bed and let loose the loudest, worst smelling fart of all time. One that was so loud and smelled so bad that it awoke God Himself from His sleep, gasping for breath.

And that was how the universe was created.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Reflections on Student Teaching Week 9

The teacher was absent Monday and I subbed the entire day. I'm not technically supposed to do that since I don't have the credential yet, but I knew the routine and was effectively able to administer a relevant lesson plan at the last minute.

The kids in the Special Day Class have a very hard time with simple division. Some don't get it at all at this point. They are getting better at their writing, but it takes a lot of practice, repetition, and direct instruction to get them to perform.

The kids can follow directions well, and will stay on task if information is provided to them, but to have them process and expound on their own ideas without any guidance will end with them getting frustrated and coming up empty handed.

As an educator, I can see a lot of fault in the standardized methods of testing these children with special needs. Even with modifications or accommodations, scores will inevitably be lower if they have specific learning disabilities. Some of these kids just can't get that light to click on.

I don't mind trying day by day to keep pulling that switch again and again. Sometimes you see a flicker, and sometimes the light does go on and stays on. Those are the good days. But, sadly, there are also many days where the room stays dark.

Ate the cafeteria food every day this week. The spaghetti and meatballs wasn't bad.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Re-Post: Thankgiving Prayer

This is a parody of THIS.
To hear an audio version of this, CLICK HERE 
Originally posted November 25, 2010

To William S. Burroughs 
and hope he is still alive.

Thanksgiving Day 
November 25 2010

Thanks for The Carls Jr.
Six Dollar JalapeƱo Burger,
destined to be shat out through
wholesome American guts.

Thanks for a continent of 
 4chan teenagers.
posting gore porn and cp
just for the lulz. 

Thanks for vast herds of noobs
to kill in Warcraft and Call of Duty,
earning you major pwnage.

Thanks for bounty hunters
like Boba Fett.

Thanks for "The American Dream",

a great Love and Rockets song
and the last track on their album Express

Thanks for Adult Swim and Comedy Central.

For industrial steampunk goth girls
with customized I-Phones. 

For a generation of crack babies
all grown up, with ADHD
and no jobs.

Thanks for "My Child Beat Up
Your Honor Student" stickers. 

Thanks for stem cell research. 

Thanks for Cialis and Adderall
and weed stores on every corner. 

Thanks for digital social networks and Twitter
giving us all intimate details
we never needed to know.

Thanks for a nation of douchebags. 

Yes, thanks for all the
all right let's see 
if you can Triforce! 

You always were a newfag and

all your base are belong to us.

Thanks for the latest and greatest
version 2.0 of human dreams,
soon to be outdated and
in need of an upgrade.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


The hardest alchemical ingredient to distill is the perpetuation of inspiration.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Reflections on Student Teaching Week 8

The kids were distracted this week. Some days they were really off focus.

Gave an art lesson on Image Macros and had the kids make their own on cheezeburger.com/Builder. Still can't believe that site was accessible through the LAUSD internet filters.

More standardized testing for kids who can't understand basic math or read sight words without difficulty. Needless to say, they didn't do very well.

Had my last observation by my Cal State professor on Friday. My lesson was interrupted by a fire drill and I still finished too soon. Tried to plan a better lesson but had technical problems the night before. Oh well.

Played handball and kickball with the kids this week.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Third Degree Proficiency

A very interesting evening last night at my Masonic Lodge.

It's extremely unusual for a Lodge open on all three degrees in one night, since each degree requires a set ritual that takes quite a bit of time to complete. But that's exactly what happened last night.

We were supposed to do a Second Degree, with a brother Entered Apprentice giving his First Degree proficiency before the degree work can begin. This means the Lodge opens on the Second Degree and then re-opens on the First Degree for the purpose of examination.

A little side note for folks not familiar with Freemasonry: In order to be raised to Second and Third Degree Masons, you have to write a small essay and memorize a coded booklet that goes over what you experienced in the secret ritual. This is called your "proficiency".

Well, last night's candidate didn't have his written essay completed, so the degree was postponed after his examination. This meant there was time for me to do MY Third Degree proficiency!

We had to close Lodge on the First Degree and re-open on the Second Degree (just to close on that degree), and then immediately open on the Third Degree for my proficiency examination.

Well, I did it!

I even got some applause from the brethren afterward.

That felt great. It took me months to memorize that stuff.

Once you get your Third Degree and you take the proficiency for that degree, you get a card that enables you to visit other Lodges and you can move up the line to become Worshipful Master.

Monday, November 14, 2011


Sometimes I really believe we are living in a virtual simulation that lasts around 70-90 years (if you're lucky) and that when we die, we wake up in a giant space ship where we can either have the option of living another virtual life or do something else for the next aeon of time as the ship slowly travels from one corner of space to the other.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Reflections on Student Teaching Week 7

Tomorrow we have a day off for Veteran's Day, so the school week ended early.
I had my third observation this week and got to prepare a science lesson. Made a Powerpoint and set up a science experiment having the kids pick up rice, nuts, gummy worms, raisins and raw spaghetti with a pair of kitchen tongs, a clothesline, some chopsticks, a spoon and a tweezer to emulate bird beak adaptations.

It was a home run, as the kids were interested and interactive and the lesson was a success.

The next day's state testing bummed me out though. The kids had to do a science test on stuff they hadn't covered in the curriculum yet. They test low to begin with, but giving them questions about stuff they had never even been taught is unfair.

Ate hot pockets every day this week for lunch.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Reflections on Student Teaching Week 6

Took my first sick day this week (Thursday).
The kids finally gave me my first cold.
Taught a lesson on the civil rights movement on Tuesday.
In fact, taught most of the day Tuesday all by myself.
Did pretty good. The kids seemed to be getting the gist of what my lesson was all about.
Some of the kids in IDEC may not be progressing as rapidly as I initially thought.
Will be interesting to see the progress monitoring data at the end of the 10 weeks.
Am officially sick of Yogurt Honey Peanut Power Bars.
Kids were recovering from sugar highs the day after Halloween.